So I was cleaning up after dinner tonight and I was struck by my latest million-dollar idea: extreme dishwashing! It would be a gameshow where contestants compete for prizes by racing to wash a load of dishes first. Sounds boring? Well, you have neglected to consider–ginsu knives!

On the show, lying beneath the soapy suds, will be knives, pizza cutters, cuisinart blades, lids cut from tin cans, even piranahs! Contestants will be penalized for each finger they lose. If you want to produce such a show–or hear any of my other brilliant ideas–just send me an email. . . .