Mary at evlogia is organizing a fasting recipe exchange among Orthodox mama bloggers. Eventually she will link all the posts into one post on her blog, which I will share here for anyone who is interested once it is finished (the deadline for submissions is November 6th). While the idea is to share “kid friendly” recipes, I can’t say many of ours are kid-tested quite yet! I’ve made notes where a dish might be too spicy for children and where you could cut out some of the spice. Mary plans on doing this exchange for each of the major fasts throughout the year, so I’ll stick with recipes that are good for fall and winter, for the upcoming Nativity Fast which begins on November 15th. I think I will post each recipe separately, and then link them each to this original post so they are all available in one place.

For those of you for whom the idea of a “fasting recipe” is an obvious contradiction (hello, doesn’t fasting mean not eating?), a little explanation may be in order. While Orthodox Christians do have many days where total abstinence from food and drink is advised for those who are able (including the pre-communion fast each Sunday), we also have days and periods of fasts of abstinence, wherein we limit the types and amounts of food we eat. These usually are in preparation for a major feast, to spiritually prepare us for the holy day. So we fast on Wednesdays and Fridays, during Great Lent, the 40 days of Advent, for the days leading up to the Feast of Ss. Peter and Paul, and the two weeks leading to the Feast of the Dormition. The usual fast is no meat, fish, dairy, eggs, wine, or oil, although there are days where fish, wine, or oil may be allowed. Mary has two good posts on the purpose of fasting here and here and I believe she may add to this little series.

Below is a list of favorites that I will post, and then hyperlink each of these recipes to the recipe post.

Thai Butternut Squash Soup

Pumpkin Pie Pancakes

Cuban Black Beans and Rice

Koshari

Hummus (this is for you, cousin Song!)

Shorbet Addas (Egyptian Lentil Soup)

Indian-Spiced Lentil Soup

Today is the Feast of St. James, and thus the name’s day of our little James (who is named for his great-grandpa James, his grandpa Gary James, his uncle Philip James, and of course after St. James). We took a long time in deciding on James’ name. We had settled on a name should he be a girl (being due on Dormition, a girl would have been named for the Virgin Mary (a variation) and her mother - go ahead and guess :) I hope there will be a girl to use it one of these days!), but I was in early labor before we hashed out a boy’s name. I finally got up in the middle of the night, since I certainly wasn’t going to be able to sleep through the contractions anyway, sat on my birth ball and pulled out Eusebius (an early Church historian) and read the story of St. James. After that I came back to bed and told Paul I agreed the baby should be named James. We decided just in time! His middle name, Benedict, is of course after St. Benedict of Nursia, and means “blessed.” Below is the story of St. James the Just.

James was a “brother of the Lord” by virtue of being the son of the elderly St. Joseph by his first wife, or, as some speculate, a cousin of the Lord. He is generally considered to be the author of the Epistle of James in the New Testament. Eusebuis quotes Clement regarding St. James being appointed to the episcopacy, saying, “Peter, and James [another James], and John, after the ascension of our Savior, though they had been preferred by our Lord, did not contend for the honor, but chose James the Just as bishop of Jerusalem…the Lord imparted the gift of knowledge to James the Just, to John and Peter after his resurrection, these delivered it to the rest of the apostles, and they to the seventy.”

St. James’ episcople judgement is recorded in the Acts of the Apostles chapter 15. He presided over the First Council of Jerusalem, issuing the decree against the heresy of the Judaizers who insisted that Christians must follow Jewish law and be circumcised. In his authority as bishop, he decreed that the new converts need not be circumcised but need only abstain from food sacrifies to idols, from strangled animals, from blood, and from sexual immorality.

Eusebuis recounts the martyrdom of St. James by quoting St. Hegesippus, an early Church chronicler born about 110 AD: “James, the brother of the Lord, who, as there were many of this name, was surnamed the Just by all, from the days of our Lord until now, received the government of the church with the apostles. This apostle was consecrated from his mother’s womb. He drank neither wine nor fermented liquors, and abstained from animal food. A razor never came upon his head, he never anointed with oil, and never used a bath. He alone was allowed to enter the sanctuary. He never wore woolen, but linen garments. He was in the habit of entering the temple alone and was often found upon bended knees, and interceding for the forgiveness of the people; so that his knees became as hard as camel’s, in consequence of his habitual supplication and kneeling before God. And indeed, on account of his exceeding great piety, he was called Just, and Oblias (or Zaddick and Ozleam) which signifies justice and protection of the people; as the prophets declare concerning him. Some of the seven sects, therefore, of the people asked him what was the door to Jesus? and he answered, ‘that he was the Savior.’

“From which, some believed that Jesus is the Christ. But the aforementioned heresies did not believe either a resurrection, or that he was coming to give to every one according to his works; as many, however, as did believe did so on acount of James. As there were many therefore of the rulers that believed, there arose a tumult among the Jews, Scribes, and Pharisees, saying that there was danger, that the people would now expect Jesus as the Messiah. They came therefore together, and said to James, ‘We entreat thee, restrain the people, who are led astray after Jesus, as if he were the Christ. We entreat thee to persuade all that are coming to the feast of the Passover rightly concerning Jesus; for we all have confidence in thee. For we and all the people bear thee testimony that thou art just, and thou respectest not persons. Persuade therefore the people not to be led astray by Jesus, for we and all the people have great confidence in thee. Stand therefore upon a wing of the temple, that thou mayest be conspicuous on high, and thy words may be easily heard by all the people; for all the tribes have come together on account of the Passover, with some of the Gentiles also.’ The aforesaid Scribes and Pharisees, therefore, placed James upon a wing of the temple, and cried out to him, ‘ O though just man, whom we ought all to believe, since the people are led astray after Jesus that was crucified, declare to us what is the door to Jesus that was crucified.’ And he answered with a loud voice, ‘Why do ye ask me respecting Jesus the Son of Man? He is now sitting in the heavens, on the right hand of great Power, and is about to come on the clouds of heaven.’ And, as many were confirmed, and gloried in this testimony of James, and said, ‘Hosanna to the son of David,’ these same priests and Pharisses said to one another, ‘We have done badly in affording such testimony to Jesus, but let us go up and cast him down, that they may dread to believe in him.’ And they cried out, ‘Oh, oh, Justus himself is deceived,’ and they fulfilled that which is written in Isaiah, ‘Let us take away the just, because he is offensive to us; wherefore they shall eat the fruit of their doings.’ Going up therefore they cast down the just man, saying to one another, ‘Let us stone James the Just.’ And they began to stone him, as he did not die immediately when cast down but turning round, he knelt down saying, ‘I entreat thee, O Lord God and Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’ Thus they were stoning him, when one of the priests of the sons of Rechab, a son of the Rechabites, spoken of by Jeremiah the prophet, cried ou saying, ‘Cease, what are you doing? Justus is praying for you.’ And one of them, a fuller, beat out the brains of Justus with the club that he used to beat out clothes. Thus he suffered martyrdom, and they buried him on the spot where his tombstone is still remaining, by the temple. He became a faithful witness, both to the Jews and Greeks, that Jesus is the Christ.”

Eusebius adds that “so admirable a man indeed was James and so celebrated among all for his justice that even the wiser part of the Jews were of opinion that this was the cause of the immediate siege of Jerusalem, which happened to them for no other reason than the crime against him.” He also quotes Josephus as saying, “These things [the subsequent seige of Jerusalem by Vespasian] happened to the Jews to avenge James the Just, who was the brother of him that is called Christ, and whom the Jews had slain, notwithstanding his pre-eminent justice.”

Troparion

As the Lord’s disciple you received the Gospel, O righteous James;

As a martyr you have unfailing courage;

As God’s brother, you have boldness;

As a hierarch, you have the power to intercede.

Pray to Christ God that our souls may be saved.

Kontakion

When God the Word, the Only-begotten of the Father,

Came to live among us in these last days,

He declared you, venerable James, to be the first shepherd and teacher of Jerusalem

And a faithful steward of the spiritual Mysteries.

Therefore, we all honor you, O Apostle.

“To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors, and holidays; to be Whitely within a certain area, providing toys, boots, sheets, cakes, and books, to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? …a woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute.”
~G.K. Chesterton

Outside my window…

Not much to report. Gray, cloudy, looks like Seattle :)

I am thankful…

For our bishop, Bishop Thomas of Charleston, Oakland, and the Mid-Atlantic. We have been blessed to have Bishop Thomas visit St. Philip’s several times since we’ve been there, and I’m always grateful to have such a wise and loving father overseeing our Church. Paul says that he takes the Gospel very seriously, the Gospel very seriously, and himself very unseriously, which seems about right to me :) He led a mini-retreat at St. Philip’s last Saturday on “Raising Godly Children.” We prayed the beautiful Akathist to the Mother of God, the Nurturer of Children, and afterwards Bishop Thomas spoke to us about raising children to be holy in the midst of a very unholy culture. Both on Saturday and again in his homily on Sunday, he spoke of the need to raise children in an atmosphere of holiness, wherein there is no difference, no confusion, between the life lived in the Church and that lived at home. Yesterday, we commemorated the Holy Fathers of the Seventh Ecumenical Council, who we honor as protectors of the True Faith. He spoke of the Holy Fathers and said that the Holy Fathers probably became Holy Fathers because they were raised by holy mothers, by holy fathers, and in holy households. He encouraged us to truly make our households holy households and make Christ the center of all we do, that our children may emulate a holy example.

I especially appreciated his answer to the question, “how do we get our children to desire to pray with us? When it comes time for morning and evening prayers, should we require they join us, or should we just pray ourselves and hope one day they will choose to join us? Is is right to “force” children to pray with us? Will it make them see prayer as a chore?” The bishop answered, “We require our children to eat healthy food. We require that they take a bath. How much more important is training in prayer and the spiritual life? We try and make the food palatable, we try to make bathtime enjoyable, but in the end, they still need to eat, and they still need to bathe. You can do your best to make morning and evening prayers something they look forward to, something they understand and participate in, but in the end, they still need to learn to pray with the family.”

I also appreciated the answer he recounted to us that he gave to a mother once that reproached him when he was a parish priest and had told his parishioners to keep their children from evil influences. She said, “We need to teach our children about the real world!” The bishop retorted, “Out there is NOT the real world! Out there is corrupt! Out there is perversion! THIS (pointing to the church) is the real world! What could be more real that our life in Christ and the salvation of our souls!”

I am hoping and praying…

That the right part-time work will come my way. I’m looking for part-time childcare or housekeeping work that I can bring James along to, and also hope to start doing some editing from home. I’ve had a few inquiries on the childcare front, so hopefully I find the right match soon.

Also praying for several friends and aquaintences that hope to be blessed with children soon.

From the Kitchen…

I’m currently baking my cousin Marilynn Song’s bread recipe. I was getting discouraged with my normal 100% whole wheat bread that never seems to rise high enough, and my sourdough bread is always gummy in the middle, and while I like the super-sour rye bread, I think Paul likes it when I make “normal” bread :) This recipe has been pretty foolproof. Looks good so far - they are risen high and turning golden brown in the oven as I type!

I am reading…

The Iliad, still, and slowly. Yesterday I was SO exhausted with my sciatica and taking care of baby who wouldn’t take a nap all afternoon. Finally he fell asleep, and I took a bath with a glass of wine (until baby woke up 30 minutes later). It wasn’t exactly the time for ancient Greek poetry, so I started one of Dorothy Sayers Lord Peter Wimsey mysteries.

When I’m sitting for hours with the sick baby, I’ve been reading him Mary the Mother of God: Sermons by St. Gregory Palamas. I figure it will either make him wonderfully wise and pious, or it will put him to sleep :) They are really beautiful sermons, and explain so clearly why we honor and love our Mother. I highly recommend everyone read his two sermons entitled “On the Entry of the Mother of God into the Holy of Holies,” which is rightfully considered one of the most famous of the writings of St. Gregory.

I am pondering…

On Sunday at the Divine Liturgy, a tiny crumb of Divine Communion was accidentally dropped from the chalice. Of course, as we take dreadfully seriously the teaching of Our Lord and the unbroken witness of the Christian Church over the centuries, we truly believe it is the very body and blood of the glorified Jesus Christ, who is made present by the grace of the Holy Spirit. Often, if a particle of Divine Communion is accidentally dropped, the carpet is cut away and burned, after anything that could possibly be consumed is consumed. Anything used to clean it, such as the cloth, is burned. I won’t detail just how our bishop, who was present at this Liturgy, dealt with this, but I assure you there was a extraordinary amount of care that was taken. One cannot leave the Body and Blood of Christ Himself on the floor to be walked on. While we should never hope for such an accident to happen, it does serve to remind us of how we should approach such an awesome mystery, the Divine Mysteries. We should remember the words spoken by the priest or deacon as they bring the chalice out to the peopel, “With the FEAR of God, with faith and with love, draw near.”

I am listening to…

Part two of our friend Fr. Andrew Damick’s series on Orthodox and Heterodoxy. I highly recommend these lectures and would be happy to burn them to CD and send them to anyone who cannot listen online. I’ll probably continue to link to these as more episodes come available.

One of my favorite things…

James wanted to nurse for TWO HOURS this morning. I can’t say it’s one of my favorite things at the time (at some point Mama needs to take a shower, you know), but I keep reminding myself that it will be a very short time before I look back on this time of him being such a little baby fondly, and I doubt I will be able to spend entire Saturday mornings snuggling my next babies.

This week in the Church…

Friday is James’ very first name’s day! For those of you unfamiliar with name’s days, the feast day of one’s patron saint is a big day in a family, and is a more important celebration than one’s birthday. The Feast of St. James the Just, Brother of Our Lord and Bishop of Jerusalem is on Friday. I hope to go a Divine Liturgy for St. James with our little James on Thursday night, since we have very few opportunities to go to a Divine Liturgy for one’s own patron saint (my name’s day, January 2nd for St. Juliana, always gets eclipsed by the Feast of St. Seraphim of Sarov on the same day) and we’ll have a little celebration on Friday. I will try and post the story of St. James on Friday also. It was reading the life of St. James in the middle of the night, in labor, sitting on my birth ball, that made me agree that the baby should be James should he be a boy.

A few plans for the rest of the week…

We hope to go up to St. Paul’s Antiochian Church in Emmaus tomorrow, pastored by the aforementioned Fr. Andrew, as the bishop will be present to elevate Fr. Ted Mikovich to the rank of archpriest. Paul was assigned to St. Paul’s as a seminary intern and worked with Fr. Ted, so we hope to be present as this honor is bestowed on him. Other than that, the only other thing planned so far is the drive up to the Liturgy for St. James at the same church. I was also up visiting Fr. Andrew and his wife Kh. Nicole yesterday, so that will make a total of nine hours in the car driving to Emmaus and back this week! Wow, I should not have added that up.

James Benedict this week…

James just gets cuter and sweeter by the day. He giggles and “talks” to us. He sits like such a big boy in my lap during dinner. But he’s still my little baby and spends much of his day snuggled in the wrap. He has had a blocked tear duct since birth that causes him to have a constant teary, goopy eye. But this morning he woke up for the first time with a totally dry, clear eye! It’s stayed that way all day so far. I know they can close back up several times before they stay open, but I’m crossing my fingers that his eye will just stay clear. He’s growing more and more hair (after having it all fall out after he was born). It’s still thick and very dark, and we think it may grow straight up like his Papa’s :) He’s sleeping next to me on the bed right now, swaddled up like a little baby burrito.

A picture to share…

I don’t think I’ve taken a single picture this week. I’ll make up for it later :)

Posing for the ladies

Naked time

Buddha baby

Snoozing in Papa’s childhood blanket

Outside my window…

It’s really fall! Leaves falling, crisp air, sweater-weather fall. We’re all pretty excited about this. I think it calls for picking up the best apple cider in the world at the farmer’s market I try to walk to with James each Saturday.

I am thankful…

That we have all recovered from our colds, and that I am recovering well from having gum surgery a week and a half ago. Gum surgery is Not Fun. It was a short, simple procedure; in order for them to do my crowns, they had to remove quite a bit of my gums from around my molars. But it was an awful procedure while it was happening (unlike having two root canals, which was a piece of cake), and they did one on each side, which means it hurt really bad to eat, or even talk, for a good week, and one side still hurts. But so much better than before! Soon, all this mouth stuff will finally be done.

Also, two strong men are installing a new dishwasher RIGHT NOW! I’ve never used our dishwasher here, as it was old and gross and the plastic had come off the racks, leaving rust that would stain my white plates. It smelled bad and I took the dishes out feeling like I just had to wash them again. We only have space for one of those tiny apartment sized dishwashers, but I’ll take it!

From the Kitchen…

I’ve gone crazy with the vegetables lately. Our fridge gets so packed every Saturday that I have to stuff the collard greens in and shut the door quickly so they don’t fall out. Speaking of which, this last year I have discovered my two favorite vegetables, neither of which I ate growing up - kale and collard greens. No offense to you Southerners, but as good as you are at BBQ and wonderful things like hush puppies, you do unspeakably terrible things to collard greens. I thought I hated them, but I’ve discovered they are wonderful when cooked right. I slice out the tough stem and chop them. Then I cook up LOTS of garlic (maybe 2-3 cloves for the two of us) in some olive oil. Then add all the collard greens (I stuff the entire saucepan full, since they cook down) and about 1/2 teaspoon of sea salt and a tablespoon of water. Put the lid on and let them steam, tossing them with some tongs with the garlic, until just barely tender. Even a little crunchy is fine. The sea salt makes them taste almost briney. We can eat enormous amounts of this.

I’ve been eating a lot of kale in the past year, since I was advised to eat lots of greens while pregnant, and they’re super cheap. I cut out the tough stem, chop them, and steam them in a steamer basket. We eat them by themselves with some balsamic vinegar, put it in lentil soup, or best of all, put it on…

PIZZA! My favorite thing to make is pizza, and it’s a great way to use a ton of vegetables. I use my food processor, which makes it one of the easiest meals to make, and believe it or not, pizza can be a healthy dinner. I make up the crust, usually using all whole wheat flour, in the food processor and let it rise for an hour. No kneading or mess required. Then I use the slicer attachment to slice up one whole onion, a whole green pepper, a container of mushrooms and half a can of olives. While I do that, I have a panful of kale steaming, and I make the sauce by simmering a can of diced tomatoes, a can of tomato paste, and a handful of Italian seasoning. This makes enough sauce for two pizzas easily, so I freeze half of it in an ice cube tray for next time. After rolling out the dough, I spread the sauce on, then arrange the panful of kale around it (which is especially good if you then sprinkle a whole handful of fresh garlic over it), then arrange the Cuisenart full of veggies over it. I cover the whole thing with cheese (which we buy preshredded in huge bags for really cheap at Costco, so I don’t even have to grate the cheese) and if my husband has been extra good, sometimes I put pepperoni on it too :) This makes a seriously giant pizza, which this photo doesn’t even do justice. My hands are about four inches apart here. I really don’t usually make it covered in giant pepperonis like that, but Paul and our friend Kevin took James to the corner market while I was putting it together and proudly came back with beer and a half pound of salami. So I covered the entire pizza with it :)

We also often eat a lot of vegetables for breakfast. Our normal non-fast day breakfast is scrambled eggs with a ton of diced veggies. I discovered that I really like all the veggies in my eggs as long as they are finely diced. I keep adding more and more veggies to our eggs each time, and now we add so many that the three scrambled eggs (you don’t need a lot of eggs if you’ve got two cups of veggies in there) just barely hold it all together. This morning I did some leftover onion (up to 1/4 of an onion), half a zucchini, about 1/4 of a green pepper, three green onions and a couple handfuls of spinach (it cooks down to nothing). I sprinkle some cheddar cheese on at the end.

I am reading…

The Iliad, still. It’s kind of gory. But it’s kind of funny too. Especially when the warriors make long speeches about how they are going to kill each other before they actually throw the spear.

I am pondering…

“For love does not seek its own, it labors, sweats, watches to build up the brother: nothing is inconvenient to love, and by the help of God it turns the impossible into the possible… Without it, what is the use of prayer? What use are hymns and singing? What is the use of building and adorning churches? What is mortification of the flesh if the neighbor is not loved? Indeed, all are of no consequence… As an animal cannot exist without bodily warmth, so no good deed can be alive without true love; it is only the pretence of a good deed”. -St. Tikhon of Zadonsk

I am listening to…

Our friend Fr. Andrew Damick’s series on Orthodoxy and Heterodoxy. He is giving the talks at his parish up north, but it’s a bit far for us to go, so I’m glad the folks at Ancient Faith Radio are editing them and making them available here. I’ve also been keeping Ancient Faith Radio on pretty much all day while Paul is gone.

On keeping home…

I’m just trying to keep it at the most basic level of cleanliness these days. Having a wrap is the only reason I get anything done (baby James likes to be with his people :)).

One of my favorite things…

Believe or not, having a big pile of clean, soft, folded diapers makes me pretty happy.

A few plans for the rest of the week…

It should be a quiet week. We may have a couple of Paul’s fellow classicists over for dinner. On Saturday James and I will go up to our church for a mini-retreat with our bishop, Bishop Thomas, on “Raising Godly Children.” We will pray the Akathist to the Mother of God, the Nurturer of Children and then hear from Bishop Thomas. Then hopefully we’ll meet Paul to go do something fun until Vespers that night, followed by a dinner at the parish in honor of the bishop’s visit.

James Benedict this week…

James is getting SO big and chubby. Our midwife weighed him when she came over for an appointment a week or so ago, and he was 11 pounds, 8 ounces. I’m sure he’s gained quite a bit since then. He’s such a happy guy and definitely a morning baby! I usually bring him into our bed when we all wake up about 6:30 or so and he smiles and babbles and coos at us. He thinks Papa is particularly funny and Paul can get him pretty close to laughing. He’ll be giggling up a storm any day now.

His new trick is learning to suck his thumb. He can’t always get it in there, but he’s working hard at it!

A picture to share…

I have a feeling this space will be baby pictures for a while still. But isn’t he a handsome guy?

To catch up:

Prelude

Part I

Part II

So I managed to get down the elevator and to the sidewalk. It was REALLY HOT outside, and there were people hanging out on the front steps and walking down the sidewalk. The midwives were piling their giant suitcases on the sidewalk while Kadie was getting Janet’s truck. I was leaning on our car having contraction after contraction feeling like I was now going to just have the baby on the sidewalk. Janet put a Chux pad on the back seat. It seemed to take FOREVER to get everything ready to get going, but I have no idea how long it really was. Finally we were ready. I got on my hands and knees in the back seat, Paul drove, Janet came in the passenger seat with us, and Kadie took Janet’s car. Kathy didn’t come with us since we would no longer need a second midwife, but apparently wandered around West Philly looking for her car, which she misplaced :)

The drive to the hospital was Paul’s favorite part of the whole day. We raced through West Philly traffic, Janet directing Paul to go ahead and turn on red lights and pass cars. She thought he’d be nervous, but she instead had to hollar a couple of times, “It’s not a game of chicken!” as he drove on the wrong side of the road. At one point he went to pass a trolley and it turned out there were five or six trolleys all lined up for some reason. He went to the wrong side of the road and went around all of them, with Janet yelling out the window, “Woman in labor! Get out of the way!” I luckily did not see any of this, since I was on my hands and knees in the back seat, still pushing. Janet kept saying, “Don’t push, Arielle! Blow! Blow through the contractions!” ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?! For any of you that have not been through this, let me tell you, there is NO WAY to stop pushing at this point. It is completely involuntary and forceful. Blow, my foot. There was no way blowing was going to stop me from pushing.

Eventually we managed to get to the emergency room entrance. Paul parked in the ambulance parking spot, and I heard later they didn’t like that too much. I walked through the ER like a tightrope walker, feeling like I was about to explode. We had to check in with the ER person, and he had a million questions. Janet rattled off answers as quickly as possible, “I’m Janet Lewis certified nurse-midwife this is Arielle Jungwirth in second stage labor full term  homebirth transfer for meconium her birthdate is x-x-xxxx we’re meeting Mamie Guidera in L & D SHE’S ABOUT TO HAVE THIS BABY CAN WE GO NOW!?” or something like that.

They brought out a wheelchair. I took one look and said I could not sit in that thing under any circumstances. At first the guy seemed to think that was okay, but maybe he got afraid for his job or something because he changed his mind and said that he couldn’t let me walk up to L & D while in labor. Whatever. I briefly considered telling him “too bad” and walking anyway (it’s not like they’d wrestle me into it) but I didn’t have enough brain space to get into an argument. It still ticks me off that they are so afraid of getting sued that they’d force a laboring woman into a wheelchair (it hurts so much to sit during labor!) against her will, so I kind of wish I refused just for principle’s sake. Hopefully I never get another chance to do this one over, though. The one perk of having to sit in that darn wheelchair is that I was in so much pain from it that the orderly practically ran me up to L & D. I know I couldn’t have walked that fast. Some guy in the elevator told Paul he had to go to registration first while I went to L & D. Paul said no politely twice, then finally firmly said, “I’m going with my wife, thanks.” There were several times during labor that I was glad Paul was there to be the boss, since I was in no condition to do so.

The next part is all kind of fuzzy. We got to a labor room and at some point Mamie was there, and Kadie came back after parking our car (we obviously couldn’t leave it in the ambulance spot). Nurses were asking us lots of questions and putting information into the computer. This was really annoying to have to answer all the same questions AGAIN, as I’m leaning on the side of the bed, pushing still. Next time I plan to pre-register at the nearest hospital, even though I really hope I never end up in one again, just in case, so we don’t have to go through the whole process while in second-stage labor.

Mamie suggested I lay on my side on the bed. I told her I couldn’t get on the bed, but somehow I ended up there. I ended up pushing him out in this position, on my side on the bed. It wasn’t a bad idea, but I think next time I’m going to insist on being more upright. I didn’t feel like I had enough leverage in that position and still felt like I was pushing against gravity. My only leverage came from pulling on the bedrails REALLY hard, so hard that my arms and back were more sore than anything else for the first few days.

It ended up being a far more chaotic and busy birth than I had hoped and planned for. There were three midwives, several nurses, Paul, and eventually a pediatric team standing by. But I was to focused on having a baby to care much, and everyone there was helpful and supportive. He was finally born at 5:40 pm and Kadie caught him. Paul cut the cord and after checking him out for a second told us all he was a boy. He was handed off to the pediatric team to be suctioned for meconium. This part is the part I regret the most about the birth, although maybe regret is the wrong word since I think it was an appropriate precaution. I hate those photos of births where the first time the mother sees her baby is after he is cleaned off and clothed. The photos of the poor baby screaming while he is poked, prodded, washed off and wrapped up the moment after he’s born always make me cry (which is why I’m not posting any of those). I really wanted my baby to be given right to me, for him to see me right away. Sadly, what I had been afraid of was exactly what happened. Thankfully, they were very fast and, even better, he had inhaled no meconium and did not have to have his lungs suctioned. They only suctioned his mouth and nose and checked him out before wrapping him up and giving him to me.

He was perfect. I’m sure every mother thinks so, but he really was :) He looked at us as if to say, “Oh, there you are. I was looking for you.”

James Benedict, the morning after his birth

Yesterday was the feast of All Saints of Alaska and also of St. Thekla, so we celebrated with Alaskan salmon :)

Since I’m taking so darn long writing up the rest of the birth story, you can refresh your memory (or catch up) with:

Birth Story: Prologue

Birth Story: Part I

After the midwives left Paul and I to talk about what we wanted to do, given that labor had stalled after being at nearly ten centimeters all day long, I told Paul I really didn’t want to have my water broken prematurely or go to the hospital for Pitocin, but I knew I couldn’t keep going like this much longer. I was totally exhausted; it was only the irregular contractions keeping me awake. All I wanted was to go to sleep…hey, that sounds like a good idea! How about I just go to sleep? So we called the midwives back in and I said, what if I let labor stall on purpose? Can I just try and sleep for a while? I know that when women transfer to the hospital after not progressing for a long time at a homebirth, they often have an epidural so they can sleep enough to have energy to wake up and push. My contractions were far enough apart that I was hopeful I could rest even without an epidural, especially if I could sleep in the birth pool (which is often called “the midwives’ epidural” anyway.) They thought this was a great idea, but were concerned I wouldn’t be able to sleep in the pool because I couldn’t both sleep and keep my head above water. So Paul said he’d come in with me and I could sleep leaning on him.

So they bailed out some of the cool water and added a lot of boiling water to make it nice and warm, and I climbed in with Paul and fell asleep almost immediately. I think I slept for about two hours. Midwife Janet curled up on the floor by the front door (silly Janet - there was an entire unused bed! She insisted that midwives can sleep anywhere.) Midwife Kathy fell asleep in the easy chair, and Kadie stayed up cleaning up and periodically checking the baby’s heartbeat under the water with the Doppler. I would wake up slightly with each contraction, but they continued to be pretty weak, and I’d fall back asleep. But they got stronger and stronger until the noise I was making woke up the midwives and we were pretty sure we were back in action. Kadie got me big crackers slathered in peanut butter and a large glass of milk, which I wolfed down in the pool. They also continually offered me an electrolyte drink spiked with a lot of honey to get more glucose into me for energy. I got out so they could check me. I had gotten to full dilation while sleeping - no cervical lip left! And apparently my water had broken too, since Kathy could feel the baby’s hair.

At a later appointment, Janet said I may have saved myself a cesarean with my idea of just taking a nap in the pool. We suspect that the baby just wasn’t in a good position and therefore wasn’t putting the correct pressure on my cervix to complete dilation. She thinks that relaxing in the buoyant water for a while gave him time to move a little, along with giving me strength to contract properly. If he would have stayed in an unfavorable position, with me not being able to contract hard enough and eventually becoming totally exhausted, he could have ceased to tolerate labor very well, possibly causing real distress, which would lead to a c-section.

I had started to feel pushy in the pool. They had me try pushing in various positions. I think I may have started pushing a little too early, because although I was fully dilated, I didn’t have a strong urge to push yet and so I didn’t have a lot of strength to make a lot of progress. Or maybe the baby just wasn’t low enough yet, and I needed that early pushing to move him down a little before I got that uncontrolable pushing urge. I don’t know. They had me push sitting on the edge of the toilet. That was totally uncomfortable and hurt like the dickens, so they made a big pile of pillows against our closet door to lean against, and Janet tied two knots into a bedsheet. Kadie sat across from me on the floor and during each contraction we would play “tug of war” while I pulled the sheet for leverage. That was really helpful and I think next time I might just start out with that. During this time, the midwives started getting things ready, rummaging around the house for my supplies of baby blankets, baby hats, other birth supplies, etc. Someone had the brilliant idea of making me a big mug of strong red raspberry leaf tea with a LOT of honey stirred in. They put a straw in it and had me take a drink between each contraction. You’re supposed to drink red raspberry leaf tea during pregnancy to strengthen the uterus, which I did, but I got really sick of it and didn’t drink it as often as I should have. But after drinking it during labor, I’ve been craving it every since! Good thing I bought giant amounts of bulk red raspberry leaf. I think I’ll go make some now…

Now I’m back. When they checked me after I got out of the pool, Kadie had noticed a little bit of light-colored meconium (the link explains what this is and way it may be dangerous in some situations). While meconium-stained fluid can be a sign of fetal distress, Kathy assured me that a little light-colored meconium was ok. The baby’s heartbeat was ticking away just fine, even during contractions, so we weren’t worried. Darker meconium is more likely to be a sign of distress. I did know, however, that dark or particulate meconium was an automatic hospital transfer, no argument, both because it could mean fetal distress, but more importantly because if they baby inhales meconium during birth, he would need to be suctioned by the neonatal pediatric team immediately after birth (see link for info about meconium aspiration syndrome). I was way too far into Laborland to really worry too much about this.

When I was pulling on the sheet with Kadie, Kathy checked the fluid I was passing. The meconium had gotten much darker. “Ok, we have to go,” she said.

Then everything got very busy. I can’t say it was chaotic. I was too busy involuntarily pushing a baby out to even be too concerned about what was happening, but everyone was calm and efficient. The midwives started packing up their huge bags of stuff. Paul gave information as it was requested. And, best of all, Kadie was on the phone with Labor and Delivery at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania (HUP) asking for Mamie Guidera. As nurse-midwives, Janet and Kathy both have delivery priviliges at another hospital, Montgomery Hospital. However, Montgomery was an hour away, and they didn’t have priviliges at HUP, which is just minutes away. But another midwife, Mamie, who was one of the faculty I was assigned to as administrative assistant at my job at the School of Nursing, was a midwife on the L & D floor at HUP. I love Mamie and had often asked her questions when I had concerns at work and Janet wasn’t around (like when the baby hadn’t moved for too long for my comfort). Kadie told her I was coming in with Janet, and to be ready for us.

I had been terrified of the prospect of transfer to the hospital, but really, at the time it happened, I was WAY to busy being in second stage labor to be scared or worried. I wasn’t worried about the baby; his heartbeat had been fine and for some reason I really wasn’t worried about the meconium either. The only thing I was worried about was the immediate problem of getting out of the apartment, downstairs, in the car, and to the hospital when I was seriously about to push a baby out at any minute. I could hardly move. I did, however, to Paul’s amusement, notice that the stove was still on, heating stock pots of water to keep the water temperature in the birth pool up, and had Kadie turn them off. I also managed to hold the elevator doors open so Janet could get her suitcases of birth supplies  in to it. I’m pretty sure both Paul and Kadie were off moving cars to the front of the apartment by this point.

I’ll have to write the next part separately, since the little boy is about to wake up. Stay tuned; it’s the good part!